i'm trying to be analytical.
to be unfeeling and full of ice,
logic, reason,
of distance.
i keep exploring the hole you left,
and i keep finding more space to it,
more depth, more openness.
it surprises me, the volume of it.
nothing i shovel in will close it,
nothing even comes close.
i stand in it, hoping that i myself can breach it,
to bring the edges together.
but i can't even see the edges, they keep escaping me.
and bringing other people into the hole just causes the edges to extend further.
no matter how logical i try to be -
am being -
at the end of the day i'm still crushed by the weight of your absence.
i can try to fight it, and pretend it's not there,
to distract myself with the company of others,
but i know, through logical analyzation,
that the only thing that will fill this hole,
is time.
or you.
but only one of those options is viable.