you.
you, who shared the last three years with me.
you, who i shared so many beautiful, unforgettable memories with.
you.
who i loved so deeply.
you, who taught me so much,
but in the end,
also taught me to be my own person;
much to your dismay.
you. who i will think about everyday, for a very, very long time to come.
i want you to know...
that you were the brightest part of my life for a very long time,
that you made me laugh easier, and harder, than anyone,
that you were the first thing i thought of in the morning,
that you were the last thing i thought about at night,
that you were the thing i dreamt of in the night,
that your smile made me smile,
that your sadness made me sad,
that your dreams were my dreams, too,
that our dreams were the best dreams.

i want you to realize...
i miss you,
i love you,
i'm sorry,
but it was time.
you were right, we dragged it out too long,
whether or not you meant that sarcastically or honestly,
you were right.

i cherish our moments,
i will always cherish our moments.

i don't regret getting back together,
even if it came to this,
eventually.
that night where we stood in my hallway with our foreheads pressed together,
that night where we stood on the edge of a precipice,
that night where it ended so much better than tonight.
where we decided to take the plunge towards staying as one.
and it was so beautiful.
and perfect.
and for one, blissful, crystalline night, i was sure, i was positive, and i was unafraid.
but then it ended, as it always ends.
with you leaving me to go live your dream,
your life.

i remember that night,
and it makes me want to dial your number,
and hear your voice,
and it makes me want to say the words to you,
it makes me want to say
"yes"
"let's take it back"
"let's fight through distance, and time, and impossibilities."
let's be impossible.
but i'm not strong.
and you deserve so, so, so, so, much more than this.
than me.
than my questioning ways.
when i remember that night,
and all the other good nights,
i force myself to remember the bad nights.

but when i walk through my house,
with it's ghosts of you,
i can't help but feel empty.
and when i walk through that space,
in the hallway,
where we stood,
with our foreheads pressed together,
i get chills.
i get shivers.
i get an uncontrollable sense of longing,
and sadness,
and i relive the dreams we shared.
every time i walk through that space in the air,
i feel the presene of you on me again.
i want the presence of you on me again.